2013年12月18日 星期三

批改過的My Home Is Far From the School

My  Home  Is  Far  From  the  School

     My  home  is  far  from  the  school,  so if I want to be[E1]   in  time  for  school ,  I  must  get  up  early.  We  have  four  classes  in  the  morning  and  after  lunch  we  have  forty minutes  for  a  short  nap.  I  concentrate  [E2] in  class  and  am  busy  [E3] taking  notes  in  order  to  review  after  class.  The  school  ends  at  four-thirty,  but  I  stay  at school  to  readbooks  and  do  not  go  straight  home.  In  order  to  pass   the  college  examination,  I  go  to  a  cram  school.  When  I  come  home,   I  am  exhausted[E4] .


 [E1]You could also say ‘because I am always on time for school’
 [E2]Usually we say ‘concentrate on something’ – ‘I concentrate on the teacher’. But because you can also use this verb without an object and then you don’t need the ‘on’.
 [E3]Because you have the ‘ing’ on ‘taking’ you don’t need the ‘to’ here.
 [E4]Wow! What a busy and tiring life! Keep up the great effort to achieve your dreams. You’ve done a good job with these two essays and your meaning is clear and easy to understand. The best advice I can give you is to pay attention to the form of the words you use. Notice when a word is a noun, a verb or an adverb or adjective. If you can remember all the forms of these words, it will become much easier for you to write smoothly.
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 [E4]Here you can say ‘as early as possible’ or you can say ‘as early as I could’.
 [E5]For some reason Taiwanese teachers always teach students to say ‘take exercise’, but no one where I’m from says that. We usually say ‘got some exercise’.
 [E6]‘pursuit’ is a noun and ‘pursue’ is a verb. Don’t mix them together.
 [E7]Here you can use the adverb ‘mentally’ to get your point across more smoothly.

 [E8]It’s not clear if you are finished with this year yet or not. I guess this time has already passed so we should use past tense.

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