My Home Is Far From the School

My  Home  Is  Far  From  the  School

     My  home  is  far  from  the  school,  because  I  am  in  time  for  school ,  I  must  get  up  early.  We  have  four  class  in  the  morning  and  after  lunch  we  have  fourty  mimutes  of  a  short  nap.  I  concentrate  on  in  class  and  is  busy  to  taking  notes  in  order  to  review  after  class.  The  school  quits  at  four-thirty,  but  I  stay  school  to  read  books  and  do  not  go  straight  home.  In  order  to  pass   the  college  examine,  I  go  to  a  cram  school.  When  I  come  home,   I  am  exhausted.

The Lastest Year in High School

        The  Lastest  Year  in  High  School

     The  lastest  year  in  high  school,  my  main  concern  was  how  to  pass  upcoming  collrge  examine.  Everyday   I  went  to  bed  and  got  up  early  as  my  possible,  I  took   regular  exercise  to  keep  body  healthy.  Most  time  I  concentrate  on  my  homework,  so  I  have  interest  in  pursuiting  knowledge.  I  find  out  that  the  more  books  I  read,  the  more  mental  life  I  am  enriched.  In  that  year,   I  have  a  pains-taking  and   am  fulls  of  hope  life.

批改過的My High School Life

批改過的My   High   School   Life

My   High   School   Life

My  high  school  life  is  not  only  interesting,  but  also   enriching[H1] .  Everyday  I  must  get  up  early  in  order  to  get   to  school  on  time.  There is a lot of homework,  but  teachers   teach  us  with  all  their  heart.  I  am always busy  doing  my  homework  and  rewiewing  it.  In  these  three  years,  I  am  sure  to  get  previous lot of  knowledge.

My   High   School   Life

     In  high  school,  I  did  not  study  hard.  I  usually  cut  class.  I  joined  many  extracurricular  activities,  so  I  wasn’t able to  concentrate  on  my  homework.  As  I  look  back,  I  should  not have wasted  my  precious  time.  If it wasn’t  for absent-mindedness  in  that  time,  I  could have  become  an  excellent  student.

Comment: Please refer to my comment on the top right for a specific tip on using adjectives. Other than that, I don’t know if your computer formatted this incorrect or whether you did it, but you shouldn’t have two spaces between each word. I would delete one space between the words. Other than that you only had a few grammar mistakes. Take care.

-Jared

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 [H1]When you are using an adjective to describe an object like “high school life,” it will end in “ing.” If you are describing yourself, then use “ed.”

My High School Life

My   High   School   Life

     In  high  school  time,  I  did  not  study  hard  ,  I  usually  cut  a  class.  I  joined  many  extracurricular  activities,  so  I  can  not  concentrate  on  my  homework.  So  I  look  back,  I  should  not  watse  my  precious  time.  But  for  absent-mindedness  in  that  time,  I  can  became  a  excellent  student.

My High School Life

My   High   School   Life

My  high  school  life  is  not  only  interesting  but  also   enriched.  Everyday  I  must  get  up  early  in  order  to  go   to  school  on  time.  Homeworks  are  more,  but  teachers   teach  us  with  all  one’s  heart.  Everything  I  am  busy  to  doing  my  homework  and  rewiew  them.  In  these  three  years,  I  am  sure  to  get  many previous  knowledge.

老師批改過的Fanny

   老師批改過的Fanny                 

          Fanny

      My  name  is  Fanny.  I  am  thirty-two  years  old.  I  come  from  Tainan,  Taiwan.  I   can  speak  a  little  English,  Japanese,  and  fluent  Chinese.  I  am  short  and  a  little heavy.  My  hair  is  straight,  black  and  short.

       I  am  a  dependent  [E1] person.  Sometimes  I  am  a  responsible   person.   I   am   a  soft  person[E2] ,  and  I   study  hard.

       My  casual  dress  is  long  pants,   red  glasses,  a T-shirt,  and  a long  sleeved shirt[E3] .  [E4] My  skin  has  a  lot  of   black   spots.   They  are   caused  by  sun.  My skin often burns in the sunlight .  so  [E5] I  must  wear  long  pants  and  long  sleeves  to  prevent  my skin  from  becoming  [E6] black.

       I  like  skating,   sking,   and   swimming.   And  I  like   go  on   the  Internet  to  play  games.  I   [E7] read  reference   books   every   afternoon   and   every  evening.

       I   aim  to   enter  [E8] the   university  in  Tainan,  which   has  good  teachers  and  good  equipment[E9] .  I   want  to    become   a   nutrient[E10]    doctor.   I  will  work  in  a hospital  in  Tainan,   or  keep  studying  nutrient   [E11] science[E12] .

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 [E1]I wonder if you mean ‘independent’? ‘Dependent’ means you depend on other people a lot.

 [E2]‘Person’ is for only one and ‘people’ is for more than one.

 [E3]I added this because I thought you mean a long-sleeved T-shirt, but I guess you mean a long-sleeved shirt over a T-shirt.

 [E4] This ‘because’ doesn’t connect to anything so I took it out.

 [E5]This connects to the previous sentence so we can put them together in one sentence.

 [E6]‘become’ is the verb and ‘became’ is the past tense. There is no such word as ‘becaming’.

 [E7]We don’t need ‘usually’ and ‘every’ together – one of them is enough.

 [E8]‘entrance’ is a noun. We need the verb ‘enter’ here.

 [E9]‘equip’ is a verb. We need the noun ‘equipment’ here.

 [E10]You could also say ‘nutritionist’.

 [E11]You could also say ‘nutrition science’.

 [E12]All in all this is a nice introduction with a clear structure. Your grammar is pretty good, but be careful about your spelling. Do you have a spell check on your computer? It can help you find spelling mistakes. Keep up the good work and good luck with your nutrition studies! : )

Fanny

                    Fanny

      My  name  is  Fanny.  I  am  thirty-two  years  old.  I  come  front  Tainan,  Taiwan.  I   can  speak  a  little  English,  Japenese,  and  fruent  Chinese.  I  am  short  and  a  little heavy.  My  hair  is  straight,  black  and  short.

       I  am  a  dependent  person.  Sometimes  I  am  resposible   man.   I   am   a  soft  people,  and  I   study  hard.

       My  casual  dress  is  long  pants,   red  glasses,  T-shirt,  and  long  sleeves.  Because  My  skin  has  a  lot  of   black   spots.   They  are   caused  by  sun.  I  often  hurt  my  skin  black  from  sunlight.  So  I  must  wear  long  pants  and  long  sleeves  to  prevent  me  from  becameing  black.

       I  like  skating,   sking,   and   swimming.   And  I  like   go  to   the  Internet  to  play  games.  I   usually  read  reference   books   every   afternoon   and   every  evening.

       I   aim  to   entrance  the   university  in  Tainan,  where   has  good  teachers  and  good  equips.  I   want  to    entrance   a   nuturient   doctor.   I  will  work  in  hospital  in  Tainan,   or  keep  studying  nutrient   science.